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她留下了一团糟 She Left a Mess Behind（第1页）

她留下了一团糟SheLeftaMessBehind

杰儿·W。马努斯Jaye>

Iwatchherbaewtruckoutofthedriveickupiste，tooexpensive。She'drefusedtosideraprapactcarthatgetsgoodgasmileageaopark。It'sbee，Ithiittospiteme。

She'ddroppedoutofcollege，andI'dmadehere。Allsummerlongshe'dbeenanunstablecloudofgasolinefumes，lookingforamatchtosetheroff。We'dfoughtaboutherjob，aboutleavingschool，aboutherboyfrieure。She'dcriedalotandrebuffedallmyattemptstoforther。

“I'mtwenty，almost，”she'dtoldmesooftenthatmyteethached。“Iamanadult!”

&imeIsilentlyreplied，No，youarenot。Youstillwats，aodoyourlaundry，aopickuptoothpasteforyouwhenIgotothegrocerystore。

Nowsheisgoobeanadultfarawayfromme。I'mgladshe'sgone。She'simpossibleandddifficulttogetalongwith。Iamsickoffighting，tiredofhertantrums。

&herisachestelevisionandwillnotspeak。Hehelpedherwiththedowhetrudgooddeal。Heslippedhercashbeforesheleft。Iwanttosay。Ifonlyyouhadn'thelpedherbuythetruck，shewouldstillbehere。It'salie。

“Iamneveringbae。“I'magroanttolive。”

Whathadshebeendoiyyears?Existingiion?

&isupsetbythesuitdboxesanduions。She'shiding。ForamomentIfearshe'sshetruydaughterourefromwhichIamforbidden。

&amess。Herbathroomisanembarrassmentofdamptowels，out-of-dateetics，hairinthesiyshampoobottles。Ha!Somegrown-up!She'tevenpickupafterherself。I'llshowher。Shedoesn'twahme，doesn'twanttobemybabygirlanymore，fine。Ibeevehansheis。

Ibringaboxofbigblackgarbagebagsupstairs。Eyeshadow，facecream，glitternailpolishandastrihetrash。Idumpdrashelvesousse，bodyerfume。Irefusethtbeuseful，whatbesaved。Everythinggoes。Iscrubthetubandsinkofher。WhenIamfiisassterileandimpersonalasamotelbathroom。

InherbedroomIfindmismatchedsoderherbedaiesofloor。Deskdrawersarefilledwithschoolpapers，filedbyyearachmyselfreadingthroughpoemsandessays，admiringhighstestsandreadingheredortypedheupperrighthanderofeachpaper。Ipackthedesktsintoabox。Sixmonths。Ithink。IwilIgivehersixmonthstocings，andthenIwillthrowitallaway。Thatisfair。Grown-upspayfe。

Herbooksstymieme。Dr。Seuss，SweetValleyHigh，R。L。Stine，Baby-sittersClub，Shakespeare，TheOdysseyandTheIliad，romaoriovelsabooks。Alifetime;eachbookbeloved。Iwaless，tostufftheminpapersacksfortheusedbookstore。Ilovebooksasmuchasshedoes，Icramthemontoasinglebookshelftodeal>

Iwillturnherroomintoa。OrcreatethefaroomI'vealwayswa。Whengrowoohardandsheesgback，shestayiorsleeponthecouch。

Myruthlesshavengeance。Dresses，sweaters，leggings，andshoesshehasn'tworhgradearets。

&lessnessappallsme。DidIraisehertobelikethis?Totreatwhatsheoaidfor-assomuo，sheleftthismesstothumbherme，aspaybackfherlikethechildsheis。

“Falala，Mom，Iamofftoquertheworld，offtobiggerahings。Dobeadearandtakecareofthispiffle。”

Iamaplagueoflocustsemptyi。Twopilesgrowtoclumsyheights:oodwill，theothertrash。

Therearemoreshoes，stuffedanimalslargeandsmall，kniacks，feltpennants，posters，hairbands，andpinkfoamrollers。Thejertheloit。Howegirlulyt>

It'sobviousshedoesn'te，herfather，ourhwe'veprovided。Wearetheflotsamahedetritusofchildhood。

Istuffgarbagebagsuis。Ihaulthemdowwobagsatatime。DonationstoGoodwillgoirunkoestothecurb。Sweatandsoreshouldersfuelmyirritation。Myhusbahehouse，perhapstoavoidthesamefightI>

&hebedrumpled，theforterohesheetsiripofftheforter，blaresspad，andpillows。OsfeedioLaundromatmaes，she'llappreciatetheyearsofclothesI'veprovidedforfree。

Iturress。Alargemanilaenvelopeismarked“DONOTTHROenit。Morepapers。Idumpthetsohereareoldphotographs，letters，greetingdnotesfilledyses，badpuns，andsillyhereareicsclippedfromneersandbookreviews。Everysiemhadpassedfrommyhandtohers。

“DONOTTHRO>

Darnedkidk。

Ireadoveralifetimeofinsidejokesaimehepi'tsuchabadidea，afterall。Maybeithelpshertofeellesssmallinabigworld。Maybe，too，theawfulsummerwasn'tformybeforhers。It'seasiertoleavewhenshe'scedsheistooangrytostay。

&rievegarbagebagsfromthedthecurb。dshoesgobatothecloset。Iremakethebedahstuffedanimals。Theksintotheroomandlooksaroundwithsuspiciouseyes。FinallyshemakesaplaceforherselfbetweenaChristmasbearaerbunny。Myhusbandeandcallsupthestairs。

“Juststraighteningup，”Itellhim。“youfindsomeboxesforherstuff?”